One of my new years resolutions is to do more exercise. (Well, I say do more, just do really.) There’s a few reasons why I’ve chosen this as a 2020 goal. It will help my anxiety by releasing all the feel good hormones, I would like to be fitter and stronger, and if I go to an exercise class then I’ll be forced to interact with other humans thus calming my anxiety more and making me enjoy myself. So win win, win!
What I did first was think about what I want to achieve from exercising and then what I could do to make it happen. I used to love running so that will work for me getting fitter, yoga is another interest of mine which will help me feel more calm and grounded, and my local leisure centre does a strength and conditioning class once a week which will help me tone up as well as the whole human interaction side of things.
So that’s my plan. Tuesday is strength and conditioning, Thursday is yoga (at home) and at some point over the weekend I’ll try to go for a walk or a long dog walk! I’m feeling positive and creating my plan is the first step, the next step is actually doing it but my most fearful step is going to an exercise class, alone, unfit and for the first time.
Against the little financial guru in my head (the one who knows exactly how to save money but who is constantly shushed by the excited monkey in there that gets overexcited), I bought myself a new sports bra and gym top to get myself feeling in the zone and ready for action! I got dressed, filled up my water bottle and drove to the leisure centre in record time. The nerves kicked in but after a few deep breaths I got out of the car, went in, paid and got my directions to the sports hall.
Now, I turned up ten minutes early to make sure I wasn’t that person rushing in last minute with no clue and trying to join in or catch up. I got to the hall and looked through the little window in the door to see people already exercising away to the upbeat music. S**t! I put my hand on the door ready to rush in and get started, but my anxiety stops me and I pause. Good job, I’m so eager and early I just almost burst into the legs, bums and tums class that’s on before my class. Oops. Sometimes anxiety can be a bit of a saviour.
I stand and muck about with my phone, a classic thing I do when I feel nervous and I have this idea in my head that it makes me look cool and nonchalant. (Yes, I know that’s not how I will actually look but a girl can dream!) Someone comes to join me in the corridor so I offer out a tiny, ‘Hi.’ This woman is lovely and before I know it I’m chatting away about the class and what to expect and getting to know her. Social side, tick, does that mean I can just go home now? No, I push on.
The class is great to start with. Until I realise I’m way more unfit that I ever imagined and I feel like I’m going to chuck into the bin during the warm up. So far, so good. After a good hour, I’ve had fun, made some friends, lost the feeling in my legs but I have the overwhelming sense of pride in myself that not only did I go, but I talked to people, pushed myself and didn’t collapse or throw up. I’m very happy.
On the way back to the car, desperately covering up the fact that I can’t walk properly, we chat about the class and that we’ll be sore tomorrow. (I’m sore now so wow is this going to get bad!) I say my goodbyes and a ‘see you next week’, drag my legs to the car and think, hmm how am I going to drive home?! Slowly. And painfully. That’s how!
*The next couple of days*
Yeah I woke up in even more pain, still happy with myself. I spent the day joking with my work mates about tackling the stairs and getting up out of my chair and I’ve definitely achieved the ‘legs hurt so much I’m walking like I’ve pooped myself’ look. My favourite part of the day was trying to pick up my shampoo off the floor of the walk in shower, I would have just sat down but I would still be there. I’m looking forward to next week, as long as I can walk properly by then.
Please feel free to comment and share any of your fun exercising experiences!